Mom/Dad ... Can we Talk?

What do you do when your child tells you something that stops you in your tracks? Whatever it is, perhaps it's a deep, dark secret that you never expected; perhaps it's a lifelong dream that you would never have guessed; perhaps it's _________________. Fill in that blank with whatever it could be that you just did not see coming.

What do you do? Well, I hope that first, you hug your child, let them know that you LOVE them, and then thank them for telling you. That's big, don't you think? Sometimes we allow ourselves to get hijacked by shock, fear, drama ... when what we really should do is look at the real, simple, raw truth first: Your child trusted you enough and had the hutzpah to come to you with his/her issues. Second, and I'm going out on a limb here, but ... whatever the issue is, I'm guessing that it did not change your love for him/her. Please say that out loud to your child.

Then you can begin laying whatever groundwork is needed to deal with whatever issues surround the circumstance at hand because only then are you doing it openly and knowingly with unconditional love and acceptance. Although you might not understand, and perhaps you don't fully accept whatever 'it' is, you have at least accepted the message at this point, and sometimes that is all that is needed ... for now.

Like anything else, you will navigate through this one step at a time. Seek professional help if/when needed, but please, oh please, never lose sight of the fact that you LOVE this child ... and please, oh please ... don't let them lose sight of that fact, either!

If your child has not opened up to you, yet you suspect there is something they are trying to broach, perhaps you can just periodically mention that you sense something 'in the air' and want him/her to know that you are there when they are ready to talk. Although it might take a while, at least they know that you are 'in tune' and open for reception.

Even when they feel that they are ready to share, they might have difficulty beginning; it might help if you simply put your hands on their shoulders and tell them to just say the first word, and the rest will flow. Now, listen ... really listen ... with an open heart. Don't be shy about asking questions ... just be aware of how a barrage of questions might make them feel. Respect is a huge component to open lines of communication. You've got to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.

If you are an avid reader of my posts and articles, you know my 3 steps to open communication:
-Levity
-Brevity
-Common, everyday chit-chat

Try to keep it light, short, and not so oppressive. Who wants to 'open up' to a long, dark 'talk?' It's the common, everyday chit-chat that breeds comfort and continued communication. That's the space where the best relationships are formed.

With that said, perhaps you can let your child know that you have a ton of questions swirling around in your head, but you don't want to deluge him/her. Suggest that you select three questions each week to ask so that this is not the only thing you talk about with him/her. This will help you home-in on what is important to you, and it will help ensure that your relationship remains solid. The foundation of your relationship was built upon a lifetime of experiences, and I'm guessing that you don't want this newly discovered circumstance to become the focal point of your relationship from this point forward.

You may have to remind yourself to continue to nurture all elements of your relationship as you always have. Put effort into doing what you have always done with your child; don't make this situation all there is to your time together, and try not to bring your questions and comments into every conversation. It is important not to lose the connection you already have while building a connection to work through a new situation.

And, whatever else you do, please remember to continue to build your child's self-esteem. This will help ensure that s/he has the tools to navigate through life successfully, and with velocity! There is no better time than now to work on that!

As always, feel free to email me (harmonypublications@hotmail.com) if I can be of further help to you.

Until next time, here's to just loving our kids~

;-Debbie

Teaching Children That Kindness Works ...

It's not OK to accept anything less from others. Our children deserve to be treated with kindness; however, we know that we can't control what others do ... we can only teach our children how to behave.

With that said, when our children are fully aware of the concept of living with kindness, chances are that they will not accept anything less. And, when they possess high self-worth combined with high self-esteem, they are armed with the right tools to help them navigate through their world when not-so-kind people and situations present themselves.

And how about the 'be cool.be kind' campaign in the photo above? That truly is cool!

One of my favorite quotes is, "To know is to understand." When we take the time to 'know' and understand why someone might act a certain way, we come at the situation from a more empathetic angle, and are more apt to be resolution oriented.

In my recent article for Best Ever You magazine, I delve into some important steps we can take to help build those qualities in our children. Click here to read the article in which I interview Dr. Joe Rubino, highly respected Founder of CenterForPersonalReinvention.com and Creator of TheSelfEsteemBook.com and HighSelfEsteemKIds.com

I believe you that once you are in the 'know' you will understand how to help your child become resistant and resilient to the not-so-kinders of the world.

Wishing you a peaceful and kind day,
;-Debbie

Permission to Play~

Yes, playing is fun; however, it also has a deeper purpose. Playing helps develop imagination, creativity, problem-solving and independent thinking skills. These skills help children (and adults!) become better innovators by using their innate abilities to create.

Most of us feel the most alive when we are creating something from the depths of our 'selves' because we are living true to our authentic selves in those moments. Whether we are writing, drawing, painting, working with clay, or cooking the best meal ever, we are creating with a passion which burns from the depth of our soul, and when we produce the end result, the fruit of our labor, that feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment is unmatchable.

Let today be the day you plant a seed to help your child grow into their truest, most authentic self. Today, spend time with your child letting free creative self-expression flow through playful activities. Perhaps you can dance together in the rain, build a castle in the sand, draw pictures, jump rope, hop-scotch, do somersaults in the yard, whatever ... just play!

Allow yourself to feel free when you play, and ask your child in that winded, out-of-breath moment, how he feels right then. Let him tell you the feeling in his belly as he was rolling down the hillside, or how he felt when he stood back and assessed his castle in the sand. Take photos, and write down what you feel are important parts of the conversation so that you not only remember them, but so that you can relive and share them with him later.

The beauty of these magical moments is that they become golden memories for a lifetime. And, let's not forget their deeper purpose ... they help develop innovative abilities, especially when we take the time to briefly document the moment and talk about it later. This not only subtly reinforces the hidden lesson when we relive and discuss it later, it is yet another magical moment which produces another golden memory!

Now, go play! ... You've got permission~

;-Debbie

Teach Your Kids How to Save a Few Cents While Letting Them Design Potpourri Scents ...

As spring teases us with a few brief moments of sunshine and warm breezes (between the snowflakes!) you might start to think of fresh scents that naturally fill your home during the warmer months. You might also want to get a jump start filling your home air with some of those refreshing scents without having to burn candles or spray aerosols. Here's a relatively inexpensive way to get your children involved in creating some of their own scents to fill the air in your home tonight.

Lay out some options from which your child can choose his/her favorite scents and build a stove-top potpourri. Of course, you will have to man the stove, but the fun part is picking, choosing and building the layers of aromas to enjoy together! I like to use a small pot filled only about 1/3 of the way with water which I bring to a slow boil, then reduce to a very low simmer before adding my choices of scents. I leave the lid off the pot so the steam fills the air with wonderful freshness!

This is a great way to use items that might be nearing the end of their useful life on shelves, in fruit bowls and in the fridge. For instance, lemons, limes, oranges that might not look very appealing to eat will get a second chance at life when sliced up and put in the simmering pot of water. Add a cinnamon stick, some cloves and a few allspice pods, and smell the wonders of nature as if the spring breeze was already blowing through the curtains ...

Needless to say, you can add and mix a variety of items from your pantry, spice rack and essential oil collection; however, I like to use up things that might otherwise get pitched before resorting to my good stock. For instance,when my baking liquids (vanilla extract, almond oil, etc.) are nearing their expiration dates, I will add a few drops into the water for another layer of heavenly scent. I also look for certain ingredients which I don't use as often; this might include anise seeds, vanilla beans, licorice root, ginger, etc. Sometimes these items are in seed or root form, some are powders or liquids, but most of them should be replaced every year or so, otherwise they lose their potency or simply become stale. Whatever the case may be, this is a great way to give them new purpose rather than tossing them away.

The goal here is to teach your children the value of finding a new use for things, and to get creative from an artistic point of view while spending quality time together and building memories for tomorrow. Talk about which smells might mix well with others and make notes about the smells you really like together as you experiment. That way, the next time you try this together, you won't have to guess the combinations you liked the last time. (Nudge, nudge ... this is also a sneaky way to get your kids to journal about the experience!)

You will love reliving the moments from your previous potpourri encounters when you refer back to your journal and add more to it each time! Don't forget to make sidebar notes about the discussions this experience sparked ... these are priceless 'snapshots' you'll love to read about many years from now!

In summary, this simple little exercise will create bonding time for today, along with golden memories for tomorrow. It is also a valuable lesson in re-purposing items instead of throwing them away. And, of course, it also adds a breath of fresh air to your home, and is a great antidote for cabin fever!

Enjoy,
;-Deb

Mold a Child's Character & Be Part of The Future

By helping launch Harmony Publications' newest release, 'A Friend Indeed' ... which is sure to be a future classic(!) ... you get to choose from over $6,000 in FREE BONUS GIFTS for yourself, or to give as gifts throughout the year!

What can I say, today is my birthday, and I'm feeling 'gifty!' Actually, it's my colleagues who are being the most generous ... you've just GOT to check out the amazing bonus gifts they are offering to show their support simply because they believe in this book so much! Now THAT'S powerful, yes?

Whether you have children of your own or not, I’m certain that you understand the importance of showing children that since we share this world with others, we must learn to be compassionate and kind. And, that when we live with pure intentions and a genuine concern for others, we are living as “A Friend Indeed” which is beneficial to others, as well as fulfilling to our own soul, and everyone wins!

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lam

Hey, I think he read “A Friend Indeed!” ;-D

"A Friend Indeed" is a hardcover, full-color picture book which ignites the reader's imagination from the very first page while demonstrating compassion and kindness in a setting which is perfect and comfortable for children ages 4-8. The story, although sweet, does not stop there. This ‘Good Samaritan’ tale is based on animals in the jungle. The fun, underlying nutritional messages which are woven into the story, subtly reinforce the value of nourishing our bodies as well as our souls, and each element in the story artfully assembles critical building blocks in character education which are so important in developmental stages of a child’s persona.

The talented author, Carma Lee, is a gifted dancer/choreographer, as well as a brilliant writer.

She has worked with children in academia as well as arts, and blends the two beautifully. Carma knows the importance of creatively engaging children and keeping them entertained while they are learning … and she accomplishes all of this in, “A Friend Indeed.”

Children are sure to fall in love with Jo-Jo, the monkey while they echo praises of Lola, the singing butterfly. They will be dazzled by Ruby, the Scarlet Macaw, and will adore Shay, the African elephant. However, it is the lessons they learn from Sly and Slick, the slithering snakes, and the compassion they learn from Dino the dancing dragon that will last a lifetime!

Yet, adults see the value from a different vantage point. We recognize the significance of finding that perfect book which will inspire, mold, and become a classic of its generation. This is that book.

Look, we all have children in our lives in some capacity or other, and whether we are aware of it or not, we impact their lives. Sometimes our impact is obvious, and sometimes not to us; however, it is often the small gestures that make the biggest impact. Your small gesture of gifting a special child with this book can be one of the most valuable elements in their world.

If you have the good fortune of knowing a special child, why not take this opportunity to instill values that make a difference. Chances are, you'll be remembered forever as the special person who bought them their favorite book! ...

And, if that's not enough, how about this to sweeten the pot? ... When you purchase the book during its special launch ~TODAY, you not only make a special child happy, you also win by receiving BONUS GIFTS WORTH OVER $6,000~

Yep, you read that right! Purchase a copy ~ or several copies ~ of 'A Friend Indeed' TODAY, and you get to choose free gifts from sponsors who believe in this book so much, they are offering you BONUSES just for purchasing the book TODAY! ... You can CHOOSE AS MANY OF THE FREE BONUS GIFTS as you'd like ... EVEN ALL $6,000 worth. It's our way of saying "Thank you for being a priceless mentor to a special (and LUCKY!) child!"

Here's the link ... check out all those free bonus gifts!!! BONUS LINK

We, here at Harmony Publications, thank you very much ... but not as much as the special child in your life will thank you for years to come!

It feels so good to make a difference in a child's life~

;-Debbie

Creative Parenting

Let's talk about how to spend quality moments with your children today which will become golden moments tomorrow!

And you don't have to 'find the time' or spend a dime!

www.motivationmarathon.com

I'm on Sunday, 1-15-12 @ 1:00pm EST. Join me for tips, tools and strategies to make the most of the time you spend with your kids. These are nuggets you will be able to work right in to your everyday life!

And you will want to check out what my colleagues are sharing to help you live a Happy YOU Year!


There are tons of free gifts, and registration is FREE, too!

If you can't listen live, you can listen to the downloads later.


I hope to 'see' you there~

MotivationMarathon.com

;-Deb

Fun Snow Idea!

In my corner of the world (Western Pennsylvania), this far into the season, we've typically been buried in so much snow that we are tired of it by now. We usually suffer from 'Cabin Fever' November through March, and some of my best nuggets of advice for parents have been about finding creative ways to recover from that.

This year, however, winter has been unrecognizably warm and mild. It's January; we just had our first semi-significant snowfall, and if the traffic reports are any indication, I'm afraid that we are losing our grip (pun intended) on winter 'know-how.'

I'm not only afraid that we are 'slipping' (yep, intended) on our ability to drive well on snow and ice; I'm afraid that we might forget how to simply have fun with it! Now, if you follow my posts regularly, you know that I not only share my tips on creative parenting, I look to the kids of the world for creative ideas on ways to interact with them. They do lead us well if we are paying attention!

With that said, I've learned from my kids that it really doesn't take much to have fun. We adults typically make things way more difficult than they need to be. As a result, one of my favorite pieces of advice for parents is to 'Lighten up!' Act like a kid ... enjoy the simple things with your kids. You will not only have fun in the moment, you'll build memories that will be cherished for a lifetime!

Now, in my opinion, THAT is parenting at its best! And so, I am passing along this link I just came across; it's one of the most fabulous, and simple ideas to take advantage of a new snowfall. Click this link to LEARN HOW TO MAKE SNOW ICE CREAM! ... Yep, you read that right!

If you've got snow outside your door, don't dread it ... go collect some. Put it in your freezer, and make ice cream when the kids get home from school today!

Woot-woot! Hey, the snow has to be white, but the memories will be golden!

By the way, if you don't have snow outside your door, I know where you can get some! ... Or, you can grab some white paper and scissors to cut out some snowflakes to decorate your windows and pretend ... Let your imagination soar, and ask your child to tell you a story about what s/he would be doing right now in the snow. Take turns giving input in the story; don't forget to grab paper and pen, you will want to read this in ten years! ... Now that's gold!

;-Deb