Creativity is important in every aspect of our lives. We simply have to know HOW to tap into it and WHERE to apply it in order to maximize our results. The one question I had never thought of caught me by surprise recently when a morning show TV host asked me WHY we should want to tap into our creativity. “Hmm,” I thought …. “Is she kidding?” Nope … she was serious, and she brought up a great point from a perspective which I had never acknowledged.
We all know I’m a ‘right brainer.’ I involve some level of creativity to everything I do. You could say I ‘stand out from the norm.’ As a result, it never crossed my mind that someone would be puzzled by the thought of applying creativity to their daily life.
My lovely host gave an example of an accountant who is ‘formula-oriented’ and might wonder WHY they would want to look at things differently. For them, two plus two always equals four. My immediate on-camera response was, “Sure, but so does three plus one!” Why would anyone want to limit their thinking when alternatives can broaden our horizons and lead to fun stuff? Although invaluable in certain situations, a laser-focus can really hinder us.
You see, I like to make everything fun … hey, it’s one of the perks of being eternally stuck in fourth grade and writing for children! However, I use it in almost every aspect of my life. Yes, it gets me in trouble sometimes (harmless trouble) but those moments are outweighed by the joy it interjects into my life.
For example, my anchor book, “Color My World” is a huge success. We made it to the Best-Seller list within 18 months, and my book tour was an awesome experience. However, while I was on the road doing book signings, workshops, radio and TV shows around the country, I was approached by several parents who said that they learned so much while they were watching me work with their kids.
Before I knew it, I was doing corporate workshops and seminars for adults. Now, I could have ignored those leads because “I work with children; I write children’s books; my products are not geared toward adults.” However, my audience told me what they wanted, I designed programs specifically for adults, and now I’m enjoying the fruits of a different labor. If I had written off the opportunity because I was laser-focused on my main mission I would be missing the rewards I’m currently reaping.
So how does this apply to kids and sports? Well, first I feel it is important to remember that we should be enjoying the things we do with our kids … even if it is an intense and serious issue to them … in fact, I should say ESPECIALLY if it is an intense and serious issue to them! Isn’t it our job to help our kids enjoy life while they figure out where they want to go and how to get there?
With that said, whether your kids are playing sports for the fun and social aspects or if they are aiming to be the world’s next Olympic star, we’ve got to teach them to enjoy the journey. That journey includes surprises along the way … those alternate routes can be just as rewarding as the original journey, if not more so.
How do we transfer that to our kid’s sport training? Don't over think the situation. Go with our gut, and be compassionate. This is not brain surgery, but the key is to get a good blend of intellect (technical information) and emotion (experience and compassion). Once we have a fair balance between the ‘nuts-n-bolts’ angle and the personal side, the rest should fall into place.
Think about how you might help a new recruit tackle something at your office. You’d most likely share the research and analytical information with them, and probably feel inspired to take them under your wing and help them succeed. So often we approach co-workers with more patience and compassion than we extend to our family members. Try talking to your child as though they were a young recruit at work.
While offering technical advice, give some positive input and try to see the situation through their eyes. They want to learn from you, but more importantly, they want your support and acceptance as well. I’ll bet your kid is no different than that new office recruit.
Helping our kids learn to play a sport can be difficult … or it can be easy. We simply have to make the choice upfront.
Choosing to make it easy is … well, easy. Often times the question we must ask ourselves is, “Do we want drama or results?” Chances are that we are going to get the drama no matter. After all, we are dealing with our kids, right? Well, the good news is that we can direct the drama to work in our favor in the form of positive energy instead of draining negative drama if we focus on results.
First, we have to identify the forms of drama; there is good drama and bad drama. Focusing on what is wrong will obviously lead to bad negative energy and will most often result in more of what is wrong, beginning the downward spiral to tantrums, fights, and perhaps dropping out of the sport altogether.
Focusing on what is going well typically leads to a more willing participant and better results which begin the climb to the top. Sometimes ‘the top’ can mean the best of the best, and sometimes it can simply mean the best that your child can be. Either way, it harnesses the energy, delivers more fun and becomes more productive for you, your child, and ultimately the team.
This sets the tone for many of life’s ensuing endeavors on and off the field. Isn’t that what kids’ sports are all about? I believe the goal is to prepare them for life as well as a potential career in sports.
Here are examples of negative and positive approaches:
A negative approach can be as innocent as telling your son or daughter that s/he is standing in the ‘wrong’ position. While a more positive approach which uses the same amount of time and energy can have a much better end result. This could be something as simple as showing them the ‘right’ position in which they should be standing. Suddenly, instead of criticizing and turning the situation into a negative battle, you are focused on the positive side, the solution.
Think about when your child first learned to walk. As their little legs clamored across the room and your heart sank at the thought of watching them fall onto the corner of the coffee table. A natural response might have been to yell, “Don’t fall!” However, those ‘innocent’ and well-intended words merely put the idea of falling into their head and the next thing you saw unravel was the scene you had played out in your head and wanted to avoid.
Now, since we have the ability to recreate that scene in an instant replay, we’ll choose your words more carefully. Instead of planting a negative thought, you tell your child, “Be careful!” Chances are, the kid’s mind will take that command seriously and the scene will play out safely. Of course, those wobbly, newly-discovered legs still are not graceful, but they’re more likely to successfully carry your child safely to the other side of the room!
It is the same in sport training. Positive reinforcement goes further and more smoothly. Just keep in mind that practice is not limited to the sport or the child … it is also important for parents to practice. Practice how to reframe your thoughts and directions in a more positive way, and chances are, you will see more positive results.
On that note … remember the positive reinforcement after the swing, hit or miss. “Good hit, great swing, nice try, fun game!” A little goes a long way.
Just like employees, our kids crave the simplest acknowledgment. That is truly a reward in and of itself which can propel them to their next great move! Look, it doesn’t happen often for us, but doesn’t it feel good to creatively outsmart your kid?!
;-Deb
