The next time someone tells you to go fly a kite, know that they must love you! ...
Otherwise, they'd be more likely to tell you to schedule a time to do something of 'quality' with your kid.
Okay, perhaps that was a wee bit tainted with intolerance; however, I respectfully ask that you hear me out. I seriously think that most of us try too hard to do what really does come naturally ... if only we'd just stop trying.
Most parents ask me to help them make the most of the time they spend with their kids. There truly seems to be a chase for some magical way to manufacture some mysterious thing called 'quality time' with our kids.
Actually, there is one magical key to unlock the 'quality time' door ... Now brace yourself here, I'll say this as delicately as possible.
I've got lots of suggestions; however, my #1 simplest-sure-fire-way-to-good-old-fashioned-quality-time is, (drum-roll, please...) “Lighten up!”
Yep, that's it! ... Lighten the heck up! Often times we make more of a project out of parenting than we should. Yes, there are times when we must put on our game face and address something in an authoritative way. However, is it always necessary to be in charge and in control with our kids?
Now, I’m not talking about life altering situations, I’m talking about planning your normal day or outing. Most of us are scheduled from the time we wake up until the time our weary bodies hit the mattress 16 or so hours later! And our kids’ lives are just as scheduled!
When was the last time your kid played a ‘pick-up’ game at a local ball field? Oh, wait … even the ball field is ‘scheduled’ these days, right? It seems that everyone and everything is 'managed' today. Chances are that your kid’s friends don’t just stop by with a bat over their shoulder asking if Josh can come out and play. They’ve showed up at a designated time for a SCHEDULED play date.
Most of the scheduling our kids are subjected to is because the adults involved (either supervising or transporting the kids) are so very busy that everything must be arranged and fit in to our schedules. As a result, most kids (and adults) today don’t know much about leisurely hanging out in a comfortable fashion. There just doesn’t seem to be much room for simply being 'leisurely' ... and that is just tragic to me!
In fact, the word leisurely has even gotten sort of clumsy to say; you'll see what I mean if you go back to the previous two sentences and reread them. Are we even losing the ability to merely say the word?! Suddenly, the word 'tragic' is not strong enough! ... We are in a state of emergency ... albeit a leisurely one.
Therefore, I propose that you just take one day to try my #1 rule, and simply LIGHTEN UP! … Lighten up your schedule, lighten up your attitude, and I’m going to bet that you will lighten up your heart.
If you are like me, you will need at least a sketch of an outline so that you are not completely shooting from the hip and sitting around the family room asking, “Well, what do you want to do today?” Chances are that the only answer you’ll get besides shrugged shoulders is, “Dunno, what do YOU want to do?” Thus, it’s good to start with a few ideas and adjust as you go along, but it is important to keep in mind that you plan to adjust as you go along.
Remember that the goal here is NOT to stick to a schedule. With that said, begin by each preparing a list of possible things to do, then go grab a breakfast smoothie and have at it! It might be nice just to set out on foot with a note pad and a camera in hand; when you see something interesting, stop and take a picture then make some notes to document your questions and comments. This might just take you right back home to your computer, or to a park bench with your laptop researching something you two just HAVE to find out about.
It might also bore you to tears of laughter! And when you dry your eyes, you might decide to head to the zoo, museum, or a local farm to pet the animals! Either way, notice that you are actually spending time together … cherish it, and journal about it so that you can enjoy it again later, when you set aside more ‘nothing’ time and no one is around to spend it with.
The memories are almost as much fun as the experience, and if I were you, I’d scoop up as many opportunities as you can to create those memories. These times don’t last forever, but they certainly can live on…
I wish you lots of ‘nothing’ time this week~
;-Deb
